


space oddity

by boffy



Series: lack of sleep in a family [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Adoption, Canonical Character Death, Child Neglect, F/M, Favoritism, Human/Monster Romance, No Beta We Die Like Henry, POV Second Person, Philosophical shit, Self-Reflection, Semi Vent Fic, and lots and lots of shitty angst, anyway she is thinking very hard, bc im a cringe middle schooler, ghostbur yk, period, too many parentheses, tragically, uh fuck what do i tag this, with no grammar lessons, woo start off with a bang, you are the fridge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28070799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boffy/pseuds/boffy
Summary: how you raise your son the best you can. the best isnt enough.(planet earth is blue, and there's nothing i can do)
Relationships: Samsung Refrigerator/Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: lack of sleep in a family [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2056314
Comments: 30
Kudos: 106





	space oddity

**Author's Note:**

> space oddity has nothing to do with this fic i just love the song and esp this cover. also that lyric "planet earth is blue, and there's nothing i can do" gives me very much sammie!!! the blue reference to ghostbur and the "theres nothing i can do" showing the way she cant change anything.
> 
> (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvkeZKoYT1A)

1.

wilbur is your first child. he’s loud and bouncy, even as a baby, easily mesmerized and distracted. he doesn't cry, not as much as human babies usually do. he’s every parents dream first child, and he’s yours as well. you know you can't be there for him the safe way phil can, you can't hug him or hold him or soothe his tears, and you're essentially useless for all the beginning years of childbirth. after all, your sources _ (sources! phil would laugh at that. it's only the internet after all, just because you have it in your brain while the rest of us don’t doesn't make it any more classy, as he would say.)  _ tell you that most human children, most  _ normal  _ children, need physical love and touch over whatever verbal reassurance you can give. so you wait, you whisper any information about childcare you can find to phil, and you play the best music to get him to sleep, and you always make sure to know what you and your husband need to buy two weeks before you need it. you are a good mother, you are going to be a good mother. you read everything you need to know, you stock up on the best snacks and food a child could have, and you are going to raise this kid right. he’s going to have a good life, you know it.

2.

you were right! you usually are, but it feels reassuring to know you were right about this thing. about being a mother, you mean. wilbur is seven now, and he’s the best kid. hes smart and he’s kind and he’s just so... happy and god you don't want to turn into those moms who believe their children can do nothing wrong, but wilbur really is your pride and joy. phil adopted a kid recently. it's less of an adoption rather than just taking a child off the side of the road  _ (nether in this case) _ but the kid seems happy, and so does phil, so you’ll let it slide. you don't know his age, he really only speaks in grunts and piglin age is hard to translate to human age nonetheless, but he’s only a bit smaller than wilbur and less fluent in language, so you estimate that he’s seven. phil agrees and the kid doesn't care. you don't know why you keep calling him ‘the kid,’his name is technoblade, which is odd, to say the least, but you're a fridge so you can't really talk. wilbur really, really likes him. wilbur teaches him how to use the new guitar wilbur got for his birthday, and he shows him around the town, and he uses his large height  _ (still tiny, but tall for a 7 year old) _ to intimidate bullies. he’s a good big brother, and phil is proud of him. you don't miss how wilbur lights up when phil tells him he’s proud of him, and you wonder when that started. you wonder if praise has become a rarity to wilbur. you wonder if phils been paying wilbur enough attention to wilbur with techno around. you push the thought down. you're praising wilbur enough, he just likes attention. all kids do. you and phil aren't paying techno too much attention. techno’s been here for 6 months, he’s probably still adjusting. phils a good father, you tell yourself. phil is doing a good job. you're doing a good job. you know it.  _ (you're not sure if you believe it. you want to.) _

3\. 

your third child is born. he’s just as loud as wilbur is  _ (was. wilbur isn’t loud anymore. not after phil told him to shut up. not after phil stopped listening. not after-) _ tommy reminds you of yourself. wilbur is  _ (was. waswaswaswaswaswa) _ like phil. he is  _ (nonononoNO you failed stop pretending everything is okay) _ caring and warm, in tune to emotions and feelings. he doesn’t (didn’t) take anyone's shit, and yet he is  _ (no) _ beloved by those around him. he is just like phil. she knows that tommy, no matter how young he is, is going to be like her. loud and curious and loyal to a fault, and whether that's for the better or for the worse, she knows it will be interesting. this isn't about tommy though. it's about how much wilbur loves him. she thinks wilbur loves tommy more than he loves himself, which is concerning from an adult standpoint. he’s nine now and he’s basically tommy’s father, which is concerning from a mother standpoint. she doesn't like thinking about it, but she’s been… absent recently. somethings wrong with her code, and she can’t bother phil with it. he has so much on his plate already with helping techno with his farm, and helping techno with his fighting, and helping techno with his brewing, and now you're seeing a pattern. it doesn't matter though, because you're proud of wilbur. he takes care of his younger brother and feeds him and encourages his loudness and his babbling voice because tommy is one now and wilbur is 11 and god he’s the best older brother anyone could ask for. you love him and his reassurance and love and care. you love him and the way he sings tommy lullabies when your code is glitching and how he tries his best to read the recipes when your voice isn't working right. _ (you ignore how phil is never home, in the nether with techno, farming with techno, sparring with techno. it's always techno and god you love him but it's techno techno techno constantly. you ignore how if phil spent the time to teach wilbur to read, and not just leave it to an ai who can’t put it into terms, wilbur might’ve been able to fucking  _ **_read_ ** _ and  _ **_go to school_ ** _ and be a  _ **_normal fucking kid._ ** _ you love phil but why can't he understand that wilbur is just as important as his other child he doesn't even bother to talk to tommy tommy is a baby what the fuck is wrong with humans whats wrong with  _ **_YOU_ ** _ )  _ wilbur is the best brother. you are an okay mother. you tell yourself that. you're not sure if you believe it anymore.

4.

wilbur and tommy have left. without phil and without techno and most importantly without you. you were always there during smp earth, living in the space between communicators, but dream smp is new land. tommy leaves first, but it only feels permanent when wilbur leaves too. it's always been strange without wilbur, but you're happy for him. he needs to live in a world where phil and techno aren’t. specifically techno. wilbur loves his family, you know this, but to be in a world where technoblade is just some warrior in another smp and philza is a hardcore player thats survived for way to long to normal, to be in a world where technoblade and philza are names from another place, legends from another time, no one that they care about personally. wilbur needs that, wilbur needs to be his own person and be loved for it. wilbur and tommy start a war, as they always do, and they win it like wilbur always does, and they lead a country, and they hold an election, and you're so, so proud of them. wilbur was always a leader and tommy idolized him, so if a war on some far off land is what it takes for them to show their true selves and develop a wonderful relationship than so be it. a war is nothing, it should be nothing, wilburs always protected tommy, and wilburs protected himself, so she knows her boys are safe. they have to be. you aren't a good mother, but maybe you don't have to be.

5.

you messed up. fuck, you so messed up. how did it get this bad, how did you get this bad. holy shit what the fuck were you thinking. you left an impressionable child and someone who grew up too fast to have a war on another server and thought nothing would happen, how did you do that. they were your children oh my god. wilbur is dead, your baby is dead, your first child is dead and it's your fault. it's yours and phils fault because god if you only showed him more love. more attention. more more more how did you not realize. he was always second place, this was bound to happen. you spent so much time reading on child neglect, child abuse, how to raise children that you didn't raise your child and now he’s dead and the other is exiled and it's still techno, techno, techno. when will phil ever learn that he’s doing something wrong, he won’t listen to you, he never fucking listens to you. you are the internet, you have all the information, but he’s so stuck up his own ass that he can’t see he’s abusing his kids. holy shit you are a child abuser, he’s a child abuser, you suck as parents. fuck. you hate this. you tried to hard to help, to a be a perfect mother and care about your children, and yet you can't be there always because your a fucking fridge, your a robot, and god phil is never there for his children. you love your husband but it's hard to like him. you can't do this. there’s not enough time for you. were you ever a good mother? or was it just a-

**_(([your] battery is low and it's getting dark)_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it ended on a bad note but its 3 am and i just wanna get this out so i feel accomplished

**Author's Note:**

> lol kudos, comments, n bookmarks r greatly appreciated! <3


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